A Sober Warrior

 My sobriety date is November 9th 2016. I was raised in a loving family although my parents went through a divorce when I was only 10. Everything changed except the loving support. I started experimenting with drugs and alcohol when I was 15. During highschool it got progressively worse, I'd call it rebellion. I was smoking marijuana everyday, drinking on the weekends. After I graduated I was introduced to Xanax and I abused that heavily so much so that I would black out and couldn't remember anything. A few years went by with minimal drug use. Then I was introduced to Percocet, Oxys, and tried just about everything other drug that is out there. In 2015 my father passed away from a sudden heart attack. My drug used increased because I was using to fill a void, to make me numb. I had so many raw emotions that I couldn't handle them without using that that point in my life. A month or so after that my tolerance to pills had become unmanageable. A friend had told me that there was a cheaper drug that did the same thing and probably worked even better. That's even I was introduced to smoking feytnol and heroin. The beginning I didn't use everyday but it progressed until it was everyday. I never thought I would have tried and used some of the drugs that I did I remember telling myself that I would never let myself do anything like that. Yet there I was doing everything I hated and judged people for so many years ago. The high for me was something I was addicted to at first the the sickness forced me to used because I was scared to go through withdrawal. After almost 2 years of using I got into legal troubles and sitting in jail for 2 weeks was the push start I needed to get through the withdrawals. It was a gift from my higher power, and I was felt my dad was with me after he passed he helped me on my journey to stay safe and alive. I was in denial for quite some time, but now realize that I had a problem that my lifestyle was no normal. I am now in an IOP program, still get drug tested randomly, and attend AA meetings. It's great to feel sober and to not need to self medicate in order to be numb. Now I accept all my emotions and feelings as they are without having to push them away. I'm so grateful to be on this road of recovery and have found so many inspiring stories from other people that keep me going. My message to anyone struggling with that first step is to just do it, it might be tough but it does get better and it will make you a warrior. Peace and love to every recovering and struggling addict out there!